that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
