Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
