Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Drunk is not a location!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
