she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
