she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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