yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
