Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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