Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He has the fingertips of a God
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize