carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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