I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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