You surviving the open bar?
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I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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