And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
