I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize