Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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