i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
