he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
