in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize