I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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