okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
