She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
