shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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