She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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