It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
