we have officially lost it.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
