I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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