1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
