Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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