he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
