Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
