I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
