I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize