Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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