i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize