There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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