So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
