peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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