I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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