I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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