these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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