Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
