I wanna passion pit in your ass
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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