she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
