barbara walters just said penis...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
