I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
