The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
