I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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