My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize