He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
