I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
