you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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