Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My vagina is officially offended.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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