there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
