Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
