guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize