I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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