You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
His hands were made for my vagina.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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