god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
