So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
