I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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