They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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