I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
