Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
